Dear Yuan Tze and Melissa,
Thank you for such a deep and inspiring retreat. So many times, it felt like you were talking directly to me, to my condition, my blindness, and my ego. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I have been thinking about the word ‘Trust’ in terms of Tong Yuan. I have been using it but have found a deepening of the experience for me even further. That word is, ‘Surrender’.
It feels to me like Surrender is a slightly deeper form of Trust. Surrender feels like the ground where Trust takes root. Specifically, Divine Surrender. A surrender to a higher power, to the Universe, to God, to the Divinity inside. To live each day in that surrender, would be my highest ‘livingness’. It is from that place of fertility inside me that Trust could then grows exponentially.
Surrender feels more ephemeral and seems to show up as manifested Trust. As I dig more deeply, I hope to find surrender to my deepest Divinity as the pot of gold. Trust then would naturally be the manifestation of that surrender. This is such a huge commitment. One in which I would like to be one-pointed.
I am always so happily surprised that my path is lit in front of me, even when I can’t see the light. When my eyes are opened, I know without a shadow of doubt that I am being internally led and in the flow and that I only need to surrender to this to deepening.
Within growth the seed turns into the sprout and the butterfly must work hard to change out of one stage to the next. I feel this internal pull. Often it is uncomfortable, and I feel overwhelmed and under nourished to handle it. It comes with notes of despair. Even though I know it is the stress being relieved so that the growth can come, at times it feels that I am moving too fast to handle it. Other times, I feel that the growth is too slow.
One step at a time – like you said in the retreat – is the fastest growth.
Thanking you again for your illumination, and for listening to my musings – both painful and freeing.
With deep respect, I wash your feet.
Letters to the Universe 