A Weekend Workshop (sometime in 2015) with Dr. Joe Dispenza
“The energy I recognized as “me” was endless, without boundaries.“
In our last guided meditation, we were invited to push the outer limits of our inner world. Like a soul-level scavenger hunt, I charged forward, eager to find the edges of my internal universe, only to realize they didn’t exist. There were no walls, no end. Just an infinite field of pure openness. Not a void, but a canvas. Limitless. Alive.
This weekend with Dr. Joe felt like an invitation to dive fully into the Divine; a chance to explore the depths of my Being with the kind of courage that only rises in the company of fellow seekers. I knew this journey would be transformative, but the question lingered: Could I go this deep alone, when the support system would only be there for me over this weekend?
For years, I’ve lived with what I call this Beingness. A steady column of energy flowing through me. It’s not mystical. It’s not theory. It’s physical. It’s Presence. A force I feel in my body every day.
When I close my eyes and tune in, this movement grows until it becomes vast. So vast it feels like it alone is holding the planets in orbit. It doesn’t just move through me. It is me. And it rocks me to the core.
As Dr. Joe’s voice opened the meditation, I felt the music rise, syncing with the rhythm of my own heartbeat. This was it. My moment to say yes. To lean in. To go big.
“Go Big or Go Home,” I whispered.
Years of seeking, years of meditation, of meeting the Silence and listening for God, I had been preparing for this moment. The energy had been building. The well was primed. I was ready.
As I dropped in, I sensed a staff member standing quietly beside me. Their presence anchored me in the room as I began to stretch far beyond it. It felt like my body couldn’t possibly contain what was pouring in. The aperture was too narrow. The Divine was pressing through me, testing my limits. But I wanted more.
“More God. More Union.”
I prayed for the strength to take it all in.
And then: BOOM.
The floodgates opened. The experience shattered me, but in the best, most brutal, most beautiful way. The Brilliance poured through. My body shook. Tears came, unstoppable. What I would have called an “ugly cry”, the snot, the deep sobs, was the surrender. It was me, cracked open in the presence of the Divine.
“Don’t stop here! Go big, I mean, really, really BIG” I said to myself
And then the bottom dropped out.
Later, I returned to my room and fell to my knees in silent gratitude.
Thanking God.
Not just for what I had experienced, but for the space to experience it. For the weekend that held it. For the journey that had no map. No end. Only depth.
Letters to the Universe 