Letter dated: July 12, 2004
Dear Mr. Balsekar,
Thank you for your letter to me dated May 29. I was overcome and completely awestruck that you had taken the time to write! Thank you.
I had written to you about this “Divine Flow” that I call Grace, that is part and parcel to my life. I wrote about the small “me” that disappears when I am aware of this Grace.
This Grace surrounds me and I am filled with this sense of quiet alertness.
I have been experiencing what I will call, a Divine Flow, as direct physical experience. It seems to puddle in my heart, yet moves equally throughout my body. It is the background canvas to my daily life. When I put my attention on it, by in effect doing nothing, it reveals itself more fully.
In the past, I have wondered if keeping my attention on this Flow would sustain it in my experience. Yet, this Flow now seems to bump me into recognition. If I wander into the past or the future, I feel a pulse or a bump and again I am filled with this Unbounded Flow. It reminds me at the end of a sentence or thought. Truly a blessing!
Life has become steadily easier and effortless as this sense of Flow has become more and more “foreground” in my life. Lately, from my reading your books, I have reaffirmed the intellectual understanding that Consciousness flows undisturbed behind and between all the activities of the small ‘me’ or mind. This rings true to my experience.
When aware of this Grace, the personal doership is gone. If asked, I would tell you that I am 100% sure that there is no personal doer. The personal doer is gone. Events just happen, and there is a response to those events.
But, I move in and out of this awareness of Grace – becoming lost in the small me where personal doership is very much apparent. I know that this Grace has not gone anywhere. All it takes is a slight shift in awareness to be engulfed – where, again, there is no personal doership.
You wrote, “that the only difference between the sage as the separate entity and the ordinary person is that the sage has been able to accept totally…that there is no individual ego-doer.”
So, to respond to your letter with another question: If I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no personal doer when Grace is present, but when I am lost in the “me-ness” in life that there is a personal doer – how can that be?
I look forward to hearing from you.
With all blessings,
Fleming
Letters to the Universe 