Rex Xue Retreat, 2021
Dear Master Yuan Tze,
I have a question. I don’t expect an answer, as my questions always are answered – through Grace.
During the meditation, when you ask us to put our attention on the heart, I find that as I settle in, there is no “me”. It is just space. Lovely, unlimited galactic space is where my body is supposed to be. I can feel my head, and know it is “me” but there is no longer a body. It is amazing and humbling at the same time. The conundrum comes when I am asked to put my attention on my heart as I can’t seem to locate it.
The first day you spoke about the connection of mind (or consciousness) and heart as one. Thus, in the mediation, I find myself just being aware of the depth of emptiness and looking for the “feeling level” of the heart in the spaciousness that seems to be me. Can you clarify this? Where do I find heart in this?
Lastly, another quick reflection: Recently, I have come to notice in my meditations that the Silence around me has a viscosity. Like a weighted blanket. A lovely, warm, deep and dynamic Silence. Previously, Silence has been, well, silent. I was aware of it as distinct, full of potential, but still. I now notice the viscosity and movement. Silence seems to be moving in waves. Slow, steady waves coming from nowhere and going nowhere. It’s absolutely blissful, and I am deeply moved by this Grace. I look forward to some clarity of this.
Thank you again.
In deep and humble gratitude….
PS. I hope you won’t mind if I keep sending questions. By writing them down, it helps me. And by sending them, I know they will return to me at the right time and I will be nourished by the responses.
Response from Yuan Tze (written by Melissa his wife…excerpts taken from full letter)
About where to find your heart when you are in a unified state (heart and consciousness being one): when you are in this state and you seem to have become the awareness itself and the body seems to become empty, there is no need to locate where the heart is. At this time you just continue to stay in this unified state and the heart qualities will manifest naturally.
The silence, viscosity and movement. The “silence” you felt was Qi. When we are in a good state and Shen’s ability starts to manifest, we can feel Qi better, including its movement. It can feel like what you described as a weighted blanket. Yuan Tze likes to use water as analogy. He often asks us to feel the Qifield with hands by slowly moving the hands horizontally. It feels like doing that in water, in a swimming pool. You feel the movement of the water and there is some resistance as you move the hands. When Qi is strong, it can feel like that.
Letters to the Universe 